TO BE LIKED!!

 A few months back, a close friend of mine generously complimented me for the ease with which I get along with people known/unknown (or so she thought). Not one to settle for less, she went a step forward and nudged me to write her a few Do's and Don'ts on mingling better with humans. I was given a time window of my flight duration from Mumbai to Singapore to do the needful. Knowing my persuasive friend, I remembered I'd be checked for the assignment status in the next few hours much before I'd be out of the airport terminal in the Lion city, i now call home. Thus, without wasting much time, I sprang into quick action but not before gobbling down a hearty vegetarian meal, guzzling a tumbler of white wine and tucking my 12 year old to sleep in a warm SQ airlines blanket.

This post, like all of mine, comes with a Disclaimer of not being influenced by the numerous self help books including Mr Dale Carnegie's that I've chanced upon now (thankfully), much later than when this was written. Not that we don't learn from those around, but the views in this or the bullets, so to say, are a reflection of what has worked for me. But yes, if at all, I must thank a fellow passenger whose situation (a young mother travelling unaccompanied with a baby) and body language reconciled with my thoughts around the subject. So, here's what I think one can/should/may do in order to be liked or further be crowd-pleasing: 

1. Ever wondered why a young woman with a toddler in her arms or sleeping in a fancy pram gets immediate attention and support from those around her? You got it right. She lets you give her that consideration. Acknowledging that one needs help/ support/ information on instances and asking others for it, while at the same time being ready to offer the same to the givers/ unknown people, allows you to connect instantly with people around. Basically, being confident and yet expressing your vulnerability (not to be confused with weakness) at the same time, unlocks that door. Remember, It's OKAY to have a heart and show it (though one must avoid wearing it on their sleeve all the while;)).

2. Perception - to be perceived as a friend is as important as being one! And for this, one should NOT look at others with cynicism. This doesn't mean one lets their guards down, risk their safety, or compromise on anything important.But one needs to themselves come across as someone who is dependable and trustworthy.

3. Conversations that seem to have a natural flow- asking casual, innocuous questions (never personal), making small talks, not expressing strong views/likes/ dislikes especially early on in friendships. Basically, coming across as a delightful, sweet-natured individual is a 'To Do' for sure.

 

4. Notching up or coming down to the acumen/ sensibilities/ maturity and or education level of the person opposite, (sometimes even the choice of language), is a great trait that makes you seem congenial and mindful as a person.

5. Most importantly, all this while remaining genuine and not made up/ having an agenda/ trying too hard.

They say it takes 21 days and a few counted instances (can't recall how many) to formulate a practice into a habit. Likewise, pursuing some/ all of the above pointers with conscious and continuous efforts may soon help you become 'the Apple of many or most eyes', if not All. Well, you anyway can't please everyone, can you? So, don't even try to!

Till I draw my next motivation to ponder, and pen and POST, keep spreading kindness, it's FREE!!